We’re grown ups. Mature. Accomplished. Empowered.
Then we get to the gym.
Gym Class. Know your station. Embrace it. Photo: Masterfile
All the genetically superior robots in the greater metropolitan area show up in tiny clothes to intimidate the “normals” out of feeling good about ourselves.
The divisions are stark. Never more so than in gym classes.
Several times a week, I get to a BodyCombat or TRX class. There are plenty of familiar faces. And the same goes for gym going sub-groups.
(Side note: These are the same groups you see in high school. But I homeschooled. And I’m one of only two, maybe three, guys in class. Represent!)
The Jocks
Most elite group. These ladies attend every.single.class. They’re all business and have the six packs to prove it.
They wear official gym logo-emblazoned tank tops and the acute awareness of an exceptional physique. Do upper cuts or side kicks follow the five jabs? Watch them. Want to know what your obliques will never look like? Glance over.
Aerobics class Rule #1: Cool kids in front. Photo: Cani Sport
The Popular Girls
Before class, they’re in the front….by the mirrors….chatting with other popular girls. This group isn’t in front because they’re the best athletes. It’s to have fun. This shows in technique…always the light option, but never lacking enthusiasm.
These gals are delightful, in shape and enjoy the social aspect as much–if not more–than the lesson. If BodyPump were college, their major is Textile and Apparel Management. Not for a lack of brains. It’s just not as much fun.
The Outsiders
TRX class perk....everyone looks stupid. Photo: August Man
We grossly outnumber the “in crowd.” In the outside world, we’re confident professionals with advances degrees and great jobs. But start that thumping workout music and we transform into bumbling, self-conscious weirdos in front of your very eyes.
On the plus side, we’re the more diverse group. Quiet, uncoordinated moms. Not particularly muscular or athletically inclined men (that would be me). And the uninitiated newcomer, confused by the routine, but too embarrassed to walk out.
So, here’s the new motto (that will never be spoken above a mumble): Outsiders Unite! We’re slightly uncomfortable, but highly motivated…and doesn’t that count for something?
I had a friend tell me one time that the archetypes of people on the kindergarten playground follow you around all through life. In every situation (school, work, church, clubs, committees, and so on) you have those same people. The jock, the nerd, the bully, the drama queen–they’re all present and accounted for in every stage of life.