Some of us have loud voices. There are two categories of loud talkers: those who know it and those who don’t.
I’m in the first group. During movies, my “whispered” observations carry throughout the theater. Do I care that someone two rows over can hear that I don’t want the male lead to cheat on his girlfriend? No. Am I aware they might overhear? Uh huh.
But then some people have both volume control and self-awareness deficits. These are the moms screaming at their six kids in the middle of WalMart’s cracker aisle. Or the self-important cell phone talker in the middle of the doctor’s office.
Beverly
I met one of these characters today. Well, I didn’t exactly meet her–just heard every excruciating detail of her life while trying to read at the coffee shop.
The one thing I didn’t catch was her name. She had giant frizzy hair, oval glasses and a friend who had to be supremely embarrassed. Let’s call her Beverly…Bev for short.
Below are 11 tidbits from Bev’s life you never needed or wanted to know:
- 63-years-old
- Wants to go looking for a gay husband in Canada so she can get free healthcare, be married and not have wifely “duties”
- Has 180k miles on her car
- Needs $500 extra a month to cover healthcare costs
- Taught for eight years and is considering substitute teaching
- Waited tables and is considering waiting tables again for $70 a day
- Got officially reprimanded for politicking on state property
- Hates her boss at the state Capitol
- Hates good ole boys
- Hates Governor Nixon and will write in “Mickey Mouse” rather than vote for him again
- Buys organic yogurt every day
There’s more where this came from. These talkers are in a league of their own. We all walked away from the coffee shop knowing much more about Beverly than desirable.
Safe travels, Bev! And congratulations on 22 years withe state of Missouri. When God closes a door….
A. I specifically remember my first “shush” for talking way too loud in a public place : Schlotzsky’s, 16 yrs old
B. Those moms can’t help it, goldfish crackers + walmart = nutty kids!
Oh my goodness, this made me laugh out loud. “I’m sittin’ here eating a pretzel now….” I could go on and on about loud public cell phone talkers. What fascinates me about society today is that it has given us this apparent free reign to announce our life in any forum we see fit. I HATE talking on the phone in public, and it bothers me that this is part of daily life now. Iwonder what goes through the heads of people who do so….and those who do it loudly, like our gay seeking husband friend Bev. Do they not care that their business is being announced? While I’m in my 20′s, I do not use my phone with the reckless abandon some of my young counterparts do. (Although age is not the only factor in the loud cell phone talking phenomenon of course.) I work in the service industry and am offended when someone is on the phone and gets annoyed with ME when I don’t go over to take their order right away. Um, last time I checked, YOU were on the phone buddy! Why don’t you just loud talk your order to me across the restaurant, since I can already here everythinge else you’re saying!
-TwentySomethingWaitress